A different sort of learning

Even though I consider myself an unschooler, there are times when I get antsy because we aren't doing daily math and reading lessons, or because Anya used to know where all 50 states were and has now forgotten half of them. For instance, my husband's relatives from down south are coming up to visit, and I find myself wishing Anya were reading.

At times like that, I have to remind myself of all the stuff Anya's learning that doesn't "count" as learning in a school setting. Stuff she learns because she's with me all day, and can ask questions whenever they pop into her head. Stuff like:

• What a "chain reaction" is
• How to count using 4 vertical scratch marks + one diagonal mark, in groups of five
• What an electrical outlet "adapter" is (e.g. one that converts 1 plug into 3 plugs)
• That the water should be boiling before the noodles go in
• What hit points, armor class, constitution, and charisma are (for you DnD fans)
• How soccer is called football everywhere on earth except the US
• What weddings and wedding rings are all about
  
• What ear mites are (in cats)
  
• Why hot and humid is worse than hot and dry
  
• That heavier letters need more stamps
• What a gift card is
• What abstract art is
• Words like violet, teal, chartreuse, army green
  
• The Chinese symbol for "rain"
  
• What "hold your horses," "fit as a fiddle," and "you're a goner" mean

There are probably 200 other figures of speech I could add to that last item, if I could recall them. Lately Anya is fascinated by idiomatic expressions, and will stop you and ask questions if you happen to use one. Also, her choice of words is getting more creative, and often sounds strange to adult ears. She was dialing a phone number the other day and said "Mom, I can't remember how it goes... could you direct me to the numbers?" Or, when she was painting: "I made the symbol, and then I put my style around it." I made toast one morning and she called to me: "Mommmm-- the toast ejected!" She has a decent vocabulary, which is no surprise since she talks to me All. Day. Long. But I don't get to call that "teaching," and if I measure against a traditional school curriculum, creative word choice doesn't count for anything.

Anya spends a lot of time watching her goldfish, captured bugs, bugs outside, birds in the yard, etc. She's absorbing a lot of information about animals, but not necessarily the kind of data you can form into multiple choice questions. I've learned a lot, too, including that science texts and our society in general tend to underestimate animals (including young humans, while I'm on this topic). Many insects, for instance, wash themselves in a manner that is not unlike a cat washing itself. They rub themselves all over with their front legs, including brushing off their antennae. Who knew? (Non-insect bugs don't do this, as they are dumb as a doornail in my experience.) And our goldfish are affectionate with each other. I am sure there is a scientific explanation for the fish remaining within an inch or two of one another, even though we have a 5-gallon tank; and for brushing each other with their extra-long tail fins. It's a schooling instinct, or perhaps it keeps the algae off their scales. I am sure there is also a scientific explanation for the fish zooming through the shower of air bubbles from the bubble wand at the back of their tank, then shooting through the rock tunnel and back into the bubbles again, one following the other. There's just more oxygen above the bubble wand, and they like the rock tunnel because they instinctively seek shelter. But Anya and I know that the fish enjoy each other's company, and that they play together. You'll never read that in an academic book, since academics have a positive terror of being accused of anthropomorphizing. (My father-in-law, a consummate academic, once accused me of anthropomorphizing when I was talking about a human being.) So, Anya's learning that you can't take a whole species and collapse it into three sentences in a biology text. Those texts are very useful, and we look stuff up in books and online all the time, but there is also the wonder of the natural world, which can't be scrunched into "Chapter 4: Aquatic Vertebrates." I count this as learning, too.

But I still wish Anya could read. I just can't help it.