From the mouths of babes

Friends and family will have seen many of these, but I thought I would put up a small collection of funny things A has said in recent weeks. It's off-topic, it's apropos of nothing, but I hope it's entertaining. Without further ado:


"I want an instrument, Mom. I want some cymbals and a piano... oh, and an accordion-- but that's all. Okay?"

A, brandishing a long pair of tongs: "Look, I'm a brave knight!"
me: "Oh, and is that your sword?"
A, looking at me like I'm a moron: "No, it's for picking things up."

"Mom, I made a seat belt on your chair-- with tape!"

[in the car] "Don't turn yet, Mom. We have to wait for this human to get out of our way."

[commentating as she kicks a ball around]: "And it's Super A. doing her spin-around and kicking the ball... and here comes Bratty Brat! But A. horns it away and -- SHE GOALS!! And Bratty Brat gets a foul."

"Well, it wasn't very nice of that fungus to eat our bread."

"Maybe the people who live there get annoyed a lot and that's why they call it Illinois."

"It's not snowy today, it's nice and grassy."

Me: "You've got to get in bed-- do you know how late it is? It's eight thirty, that means THIRTY minutes past eight o'clock."
A: "I'm not impressed."

[just when I was about to announce that I was losing my patience]: "Mom, are you losing your pressure again?"

[after stubbing her toe]: "It's all that chair's fault-- even if it doesn't have a brain!"

"Why did Harry name his owl Hedwig? ....well, I guess owls do collect twigs to make their nests... and they do have heads. So I guess that's why he named her Hedwig."